“I look forward to being a mom, I am just not ready right now!”
“What is the process like?”
If you are thinking about the option of adoption and want to learn more about it, its a good idea to call and make an appointment to come in so our counselors can dedicate the proper amount of time to talk to you. During that meeting, your counselor will help you process your feelings about the situation and help you go over your options. Your counselor will be happy to show you what a file looks like and share the purpose of each document. If you decide you feel adoption is your best option, then you would begin filling out the materials necessary to sign up with the agency. That would include a thorough medical and health history so the child will know more about you and your heritage, finding a loving and experienced OBGYN to work with, setting up a screening and sonogram that ensures you and your child are healthy. Counseling and support groups are always available to our the Birthparents. It is very important that our Birthparents have a sense of peace and purpose. That they learn to see themselves through God’s eyes versus mans eyes, eventually seeing how very precious they are to Him.
“Can I choose the Parents and get updates?”
Our Birthparents choose the family that they feel drawn to and can envision their child with. A meeting is set up and if everyone is agreeable to the match then that would be the family who will adopt your child. We also try to visit with the adoptive family several times before the birth if time allows so you all become comfortable with each other. The hospital stay will follow the adoption plan you designed earlier with your adoption counselor. After the placement of the child, we will receive pictures and updates for 18 years so that you can be assured that your child is thriving and doing well. Receiving pictures and updates can help assure you that you made the right decision for you and your child. Our Birthparents have told us that receiving annual pictures and updates helps mend their hearts.
“Is Financial Assistance available if I need it?”
Financial assistance is available for pregnancy-related expenses. Generally, once a birth parent reaches seven months along she is eligible for assistance. Usually, those expenses can, but not always, include rent, groceries, a bus pass if its available in her area, her utility bill and phone bill. DFPS is strict when it comes to financial aid, so it is only utilized if a birthparent is unable to cover it on her own.
Adoption can be a bittersweet experience, but we are here to help you through it any way we can.
If you are considering adoption for your child, and desire to know more about the adoption process, please give us a call. We will be happy to explain how the adoption process works and talk about your options. We are not here to talk you into placing your child, but are here to help you see all your options so you can decide what is best for you and your child. In addition, we hold a Birthmother Support Group regularly to help our Birthmothers process their feelings and find the support they need through the friendships with other Birthparents.
We know God is faithful and He will guide you in making the right decision. He thought of adopting us long before we were conceived!
IS ADOPTION MY BEST OPTION?
When you answer these questions, please base your responses on honest facts and not on emotions and on what is in the best interest for you and the child.
1. When I think of my future, what would I like to see?
2. How would I take care of a child and maintain my job and/or school – at the same time?
3. Have I ever experienced balancing a job, school and raising a child?
4. Am I prepared to surrender the freedom to do what I want to do when I want to do it?
5. What would be an example of something I would be giving up if I choose to raise my child?
6. Do I understand the sacrifices that would be made on my social life if I decide to raise a child? Am I prepared to make these changes?
7. Would I miss my free time and privacy?
8. Do I make enough money to allow me to raise a baby the way I would like?
9. Do I want to raise a child in the community where I currently reside?
10. Would raising a child interfere with my own growth and development?
11. Would parenting change my educational or vocational plans? Why or why not?
12. Do I like activities with children?
13. Do I enjoy the same activities children enjoy?
14. Do I believe a child can make me “happy”?
15. Am I a patient person? Could I deal with the noise or sounds, emotional and physical hurdles, and 24 hours a day responsibility of raising a child?
16. What kind of time do I need for myself?
17. How do I handle my anger today? Do I get upset easily?
18. What sort of discipline would I use?
19. Do I have a positive relationship with my parents today?
20. What will I do to prevent the mistakes I feel my parents made in raising me?
21. What sort of plan do I have to take care of my child’s health care needs?
22. Do I have a way to get to my child’s medical or dental appointments?
23. Do I have a good daycare if I am going to work? What do they charge per month?
24. Would I need to accept food stamps, WIC, Medicaid in order to care for my child?
25. Do I want/can I tolerate a life long tie to the birthfather/birthmother of my child?
26. Will I allow or want him to be involved with raising the child?
27. What are five goals you’d like to do in the next year?
27. Does knowing your child enables the adoptive couple to be a family make you feel special? Why or why not?
The chart below to help determine if you can financially care for a baby. The intention is to give you a rough estimate of the cost of raising a child in relation to your income.
|Child Support (if applicable)|
|State/Government Support (if applicable)|
TOTAL AMOUNT OF INCOME =
|Child Care (if applicable)|
|Health-Care Insurance (Private)|
|Utilities: Electric, Natural Gas, Water/Sewer:|
|Transportation (Gasoline or Public)|
|Credit Card(s) Debt|
TOTAL AMOUNT OF EXPENSES =
TOTAL AMOUNT REMAINING